short Homophobia rant

I think I might be homophobic.

Not in the sense that I hate gay and lesbians, but rather when guys make comments about me kissing my friends.other girls as a joke, I get so disgusted and it usually results in goosebumps (in the bad way. ie: when you see someones nasty scab).

For instance today, I informed my friend that someone I knew has herpes. He replied "You probably shouldn't kiss her anymore." I began to vomit in my mind, not because she has herpes, but just any mention of me partaking in lesbian activities with her is disgusting.

Gross. Bye.

Hippo-Kondriak

Well, I have to admit: I am most definitely the worst hypochondriac there has ever been.

Although the recent turn of events have stirred up quite a fuss regarding flu epidemics, I'd like to point out that this is basically my life. I can't really think of a time when I haven't been not-scared of some particular disease. They come in phases.

To be particular, recently, my roommate has managed to acquire herpes. Lovely. Granted it is not that of the genitalia, however I can't help the innate cringing I partake in whenever she is less than 5 ft near. I even started feeling a little ill as she neared me today; my head felt a little throbby and my throat started to dry up. It was all in my head, but I still freak out. Yes, this is how bad I am.

How do you tell someone you want them to not use your things without being mean?

Me: Hey....Can you not use my cups?
Roomie: Oh I don't...
Me: Well, good because I don't want to get herpes...

I'm working on remodeling this scenario though.

People do occasionally think I'm a little over the top. I do carry around bottles of hand sanitizer everywhere I go and use it every hour, and I do grab paper towels to open public doors. I'm going to be embarking on a trip this week, and I've even seriously contemplated buying one of those surgical masks to wear during my 6 hour flight.

Excessive? Yes. Unreasonable? I don't think so. Germs freak me out, so I'd say that as a hypochondriac and furthermore a germaphobe, I should feel pretty content.

Yet I'm feeling restless tonight. Damn fluoride mouthwash hasn't allowed me to drink my nightly cup of honey, milk, and lavender chamomile tea. I'll have to improvise.


P.S: When I looked back at my entry, I noticed that Vista has taken on the Word-like feature of underlining potentially misspelled words in red. I noticed germaphobe was underlined; thus curiously, I checked to see how it should be spelled. Apparently "hermaphrodite" is what I meant. Thank God I don't have an automatic word fixer. I'd be a hypochondriac who doubles as a hermaphrodite. :(

At least that's some Grade A stuff right there. A for Alliteration!

Wow. Need sleep for real.


Happy Birthday, Samuel Morse! And Good night.

L'ideologie Politique and Communism

Breakfast did help. So did the stupidity of my peers. "I voted for Obama so I'd still have my birth control pills subsidized."

As a young, sophomoric student, I often find myself tied up with a mix of adrenaline and emotion when I'm watching the news. Unfortunately, it's usually liberally biased news (unless...of course I'm watching FOX which...well...you know that story). Students think they know everything; it sucks. As a quote on mymomisafob.com once said "Young people are usually democrats, until they get a job and make good money."

On Facebook, people used to be able to choose under "Political Vi

ews" to be Conservative, Moderately Conservative, Liberal, Very Liberal, etc. I chose Moderate due to my indecisive nature. Nowadays you can enter your own shit, in which people try to be stupid and enter things like "Twilight Society" or "Federation of Vampires." Either people need to grow up a little, or I need to upgrade my Facebook friends (if they mean anything at all).

Some people think "Moderate" is bullshit. Well, the problem is, I would love to be something else; trust me. I hate being indecisive, but I have no choice. I believe in civil liberties and freedoms, but there are boundaries I can cross with religion and such. For example, I want women to be able to choose whether or not they want an abortion. It's their own business if they have problems, and honestly, killing their baby isn't going to affect other people around them. I mean, of course, it makes me feel uneasy, but in the end, it does not affect other peo

ple too much. On the other hand, well...I don't want to get into the gay marriage issue. That's a tough one for me, since I do believe people should be treated equally, but my own personal beliefs and thoughts might force my mind to think that it's unnatural. I'll get back to that when my thoughts are clearer.

I've had some dumb shit ask me "If you're Chinese...are you Communist?" Yes. It was in all seriousness. This is where my super UN-left wing side busts out of its shell. First of all, I hate welfare programs and benefits issued by the government. I think it's bullshit for people who worked harder (granted, most of the middle class + world isn't made up of Paris Hiltons) to have to pay for people who fell to drugs or are just plain lazy. I fail to see the connection between me being a communist and virtually having NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for poor people.

One example can be shown with this new program in Seattle. I believe it's called the "Tent City" project. To my understanding, they set up a bunch of tents in a miscellaneous yet authorized parking lot for the homeless. When they are not laying in their pink tents, they scoure the university street with some cardboard signs hoping to acquire some change. This sounds cute and heartwarming, until you think about it. Why are they homeless? Well think of the douchebag druggy from your high school who always had a smart ass little pimply smile on his face. He eventually realized that while everyone else was being preppy or nerdy and actually doing something (I hate to admit it, but even cheerleading would have been something), he was essentially too cool for school and dropped out. In the end, he probably started becoming some meth addict. Now he's a hobo. He expects you to give him money because you worked your ass off to get to where you are, and he didn't. You can feel sorry for those people; but I absolutely do not (and hippie liberals + indie chicks hate me).

Now in order to rest my case, an acquaintance had been passing around in the area. With the same type of curiosity (although he was much more forgiving as I find West Coasters usually are), he asked one of these homeless gentlemen "Why don't you just get a job?" His response was "I don't want to. It's the government's responsibility to make sure we have a place to eat and sleep and bathe..." Are you kidding me? It's everyone else's responsibility.

It makes me laugh when you have rednecks complaining that they're fat because they don't have money to buy healthy foods (I've seen YouTube video blogs. They do complain about said issues) and demand the elimination of disparaties in wealth. But then they're so American and proud of the freedom they have, criticizing foreigners for being communists. Do they even know what communism is?

Do you even know what communism is?

Right. It's all bullshit. Work hard, play hard. Don't work..be a hobo. Don't expect anything from anyone else. I can't even imagine any of the trailer park trash to work to contribute to the common good.

Things have changed since 1848. The party seems to be over.

Still Lame

Well eating breakfast did not make things better; as a matter of a fact, it made me feel even more lethargic. Now, I've decided to skip my second class of the day as well.. Cheerios must have induced this!

But actually, this week was killer. I suppose it's only natural for me to want to compensate for all the nights up studying and drinking coffee. I refuse to drink any more caffeine until my next bundle of exams.

Lame

Today I'm way too cool to go to my first class.

It's too early in the morning to express my guilt not to mention have something witty to say or write about.

Breakfast may help.

Cynicism

By following the trend, I watched the Susan Boyle video. I have to admit, that the people in the audience made my blood boil. Of course I'm sure the camera focused in on annoying-looking people on purpose, but ugly girls grimacing at this poor old woman's appearance...well come on. You are not so hot yourself; if you were Miranda Kerr, yes. Judge all you want. You're a goddess, and you worked hard to get to where you are; you're allowed to harbor those standards. If you're just a stubby emo teenager who has an ego the size of Africa, then shut up.

Having worked in retail for about two years, I have come to realize that people are lame. It's really interesting to see how people behave. It's unfortunately inevitable, since no one can please everyone 100%, but I have to say, some people are definitely living their life on the other side of the road.

Working in the kids department of a major clothing brand store part time in an mall designed for wealthier people (will not mention for reasons against potential libel claims), I realized that rich housewives on shopping missions think they are basically the shit. They have produced little bundles of snot and tears as well as 2ft monster clones of themselves, and now believe that the whole entire world revolves around a white blouse with a strawberry on it in size 18 months.

I don't say this with bitterness, but with fact since there had been numerous occasions where I had to call every store on the West Coast for a stupid little white sweater you could get at Walmart for basically 10% of the price. Upon failure, a condescending you're-too-stupid-because-you're-working-in-retail sort of "Thanks anyway" (if any at all) is muttered.

This one lady one time asked "Do you have yoga pants?" I put on my little smiley sales associate facade and directed her to the back. I asked her what size she was looking for. Medium, she proclaimed. I sifted through the pile for a moment, actually trying to help her. We didn't have any. "Looks like we only have small and large." I held them up to her so she could see them. Now, this is the part, where polite people say no and desperate people say 'We can try the large.' I guess she was neither and fell into the stuck up bitch category, because she said in the most supercilious tone: "Well, that doesn't help, now does it?"

I can be brash, but not enough to exceed rational thought and get myself fired. Adrenaline slushed around in my brain as I dropped the pants and walked away.

I have heard of other horror stories among my fellow co-associates. Once, a woman screamed "You ruined my life!" to a girl after realizing she gave the associate the wrong credit card card. Another time, a guy I worked with had a girl say to him straight up "It doesn't take much brains to work at [__] huh?"

It makes me wonder...was Kollontai have it right to boldly and radically suggest that being such a wife and not directly contributing to the economc in the end is just prostitution? lolcommie

Well, the lesson learned here is that it's inevitable for people to not like other people. It's inevitable for one person to feel superior to the other on the basis of nothing and everything.

Basically, I have lost hope for everything. I used to think I have social problems or that I was an introvert, but it surprised me to find out neither were true. I realized that it's just that my standards for others are too high because I hold myself to too high of a standard. It pains me to have to be a shittier person to be able to accept other people's shittyness, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.