I stumbled across a website called "Miss Bimbo" while hoping to reminisce through GaiaOnline. What better way to spend my college winter break, right?
Apparently, Miss Bimbo is the English version of the French "Ma Bimbo," a game where you are given a doll, in hopes to make her a socialite.
I came across a couple of different, hilarious news articles. Bias plays such a minimal role in journalism. NOT.
"Alarm as dolls get breast implants in 'Miss Bimbo' game - CNN.com, Your Little Girl Can Be a Top Bimbo, Too, Young girls get boob jobs in bimbo game | News | News.com.au" are just a few among many.
What fails to keep me quiet is the fact that none of these sources have their facts straight. CNN Europe claims the following:
1) "The British version already has nearly 200,000 players, most of whom are girls aged between 7 and 17, according to the Web site."
-> Orly? Why is it that under Miss Bimbo's FAQ, the average player is 19 years old? Why is it that 90% of the top 20 gamers are over 20 years old? On the other hand, what kind of a parent would allow their 7 year old daughter to access the world wide web solo? If a parent is unable assume responsibility over their child's actions online, then obviously it must be the website's fault. Obviously.
2) ""But the danger is that a nine-year-old fails to appreciate the irony and sees the Bimbo as a cool role model. Then the game becomes a hazard and a menace."" (says Bill Hibberd, of parents' rights group Parentkind)
-> Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that your 9 year old brats were being tied to chairs and forced to play this game.
Well come on guys. Remember the old school SAT analogies? Block MTV is to discontent with Ms Hilton flashing her v at the paparazzi; _______ is to discontent with a fashion doll website. Apparently, the answer is whine about it.
3) One parent also told The Times the creators were irresponsible. Nick Williams said he was appalled when he saw his daughters Katie, nine, and Sarah, 14, playing the game.
-> You see, within the other 329473 hours you spend not monitoring your children's internet activity, they also watched some scat porn, learned how to break into someone's house on YouTube, and chatted with some 50 year old predator in an AIM chatroom from Wisconsin. The creators are irresponsible, because you had to walk by and notice? If you think the Internet is clean enough for your 9/14 year old kids to surf without restrictions, you might have to stick the irresponsible tag on yourself. All the time you spend whining about this shit to the press could be used as valuable monitoring time.
But please, please. Sue McDonalds for you dropping your chicken nugget on the ground. It's not your own damn fault you're a dumb shit and didn't realize your food would be hot.
4) A Web site that encourages girls as young as seven to give virtual dolls breast implants and put them on crash diets has caused concern among parents and children's activists.
-> A breast implant costs about 11,500 bimbo dollars, you start out with 1,000. Unless you pay with real money, it will take you at least about a good month to earn enough. Honestly, if you haven't noticed your child is playing a game undesirable to your tastes by now, then (sticking to the appropriate theme of your article) maybe there is something wrong with your parenting skills.
5) And bagging a billionaire boyfriend is the most desirable way to earn the all important "mula" or bimbo dollars. Working, it seems, is a bit of a chore in bimbo world.
-> It seems? Hardly. Your first goal is to get a job. You gradually move up, as you do puzzles and go to the library to increase your IQ. Your IQ raises, and you can change your job. You play Sudoku, word games, and solve puzzles to do this. They are generally easy....that is, unless you fail at life and have an IQ of 20. On the other hand, I'll give this journalist some creds. Bimbo creds. Working may seem a bit of a chore in the bimbo world if you're a dumb bitch.
In that case, your best bet will indeed be to bag a billionare boyfriend not only on the game, but also in real life.
I rest my case. Peace.
[For the full bullshit article, I kindly direct you to: http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/03/25/miss.bimbo/]
