Boyz and Gurlz Lawl

It would be nice if boyfriends were less orbital and girlfriends were less bitch-planet-like. There are a few reasons for this.

The average 18-25 year old boyfriend is mostly concerned with himself. He complains, because he wants to have more time to do what HE wants. He wants to go drinking with the guys, wants to check out all the girls, wants to have sex when he wants, wants to work when he wants, etc. Basically, the world revolves around him.

The average 18-25 year old girlfriend is mostly concerned with her boyfriend; this is not to say girls are all wonderful and dandy while guys all suck deep and wallow in each other's flames of evilness, because girls can be evil too. But, girls are more concerned about pleasing the guy she is with. If there are multiple guys, then, she will devote all her energy to the one who's hotter and the one who she likes better. Anyway, random surprises, cooking, being a motherly figure when mother isn't around, etc etc.

This causes problems. One day, boyfriend wants to go out with his friends to a strip club. Girlfriend, who is jealous and insecure, decides that life sucks because she remembers making him homemade vegetable soup when no one else cared he was sick. Boyfriend feels constrained, because being an 18-25 year old male, he is the sun, and everyonething else (the planets) is in orbit around him. He wants his freedom; it's not like he's going to go sleep with some community college drop out strippers. Flirting is okay.

Well, the above scenario only works if certain conditions are satisfied. One being that the girl really likes the guy. Second, the guy is a douchebag aka not a desperate nerd who can't find a girl or someone younger and/or a pansy.

Now, if the guy were the latter, then what would happen is, the girlfriend would initially be estatic. A wonderful, sensitive guy. As time draws on, and she is bombarded by his 5000000/day phone calls about his feelings, the light is switched off. He cries.

Gross.

In the end, the girls are plagued with this whole "Why do girls like douchebags?" question by their doe-eyed I'm-a-straight-go-to-guy-cuz-girls-think-I-might-as-well-be-gay friends. Well, what I've determined is that, girls don't like douchebags. Hate would even be a better word. On the other hand, to my understanding, most girls hate sensitive guys. They're too much like...girls. No girl wants to be with a guy more pansy than herself. If she's crying, she doesn't want a scrawny little boy to be crying with her...if we females wanted someone like that...we'd go for a butch les.

In the end, even though douchebags do suck an infinite amount, the pansies don't really do it for the ladies. Unless you're from the South maybe.....

\\Oops, margin of error. Back to the drawing board! Time to recalculate.

Irresponsible Parents Strike Again

I stumbled across a website called "Miss Bimbo" while hoping to reminisce through GaiaOnline. What better way to spend my college winter break, right?

Apparently, Miss Bimbo is the English version of the French "Ma Bimbo," a game where you are given a doll, in hopes to make her a socialite.

I came across a couple of different, hilarious news articles. Bias plays such a minimal role in journalism. NOT.

"Alarm as dolls get breast implants in 'Miss Bimbo' game - CNN.com, Your Little Girl Can Be a Top Bimbo, Too, Young girls get boob jobs in bimbo game | News | News.com.au" are just a few among many.

What fails to keep me quiet is the fact that none of these sources have their facts straight. CNN Europe claims the following:


1) "The British version already has nearly 200,000 players, most of whom are girls aged between 7 and 17, according to the Web site."

-> Orly? Why is it that under Miss Bimbo's FAQ, the average player is 19 years old? Why is it that 90% of the top 20 gamers are over 20 years old? On the other hand, what kind of a parent would allow their 7 year old daughter to access the world wide web solo? If a parent is unable assume responsibility over their child's actions online, then obviously it must be the website's fault. Obviously.


2) ""But the danger is that a nine-year-old fails to appreciate the irony and sees the Bimbo as a cool role model. Then the game becomes a hazard and a menace."" (says Bill Hibberd, of parents' rights group Parentkind)

-> Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that your 9 year old brats were being tied to chairs and forced to play this game.

Well come on guys. Remember the old school SAT analogies? Block MTV is to discontent with Ms Hilton flashing her v at the paparazzi; _______ is to discontent with a fashion doll website. Apparently, the answer is whine about it.

3) One parent also told The Times the creators were irresponsible. Nick Williams said he was appalled when he saw his daughters Katie, nine, and Sarah, 14, playing the game.

-> You see, within the other 329473 hours you spend not monitoring your children's internet activity, they also watched some scat porn, learned how to break into someone's house on YouTube, and chatted with some 50 year old predator in an AIM chatroom from Wisconsin. The creators are irresponsible, because you had to walk by and notice? If you think the Internet is clean enough for your 9/14 year old kids to surf without restrictions, you might have to stick the irresponsible tag on yourself. All the time you spend whining about this shit to the press could be used as valuable monitoring time.

But please, please. Sue McDonalds for you dropping your chicken nugget on the ground. It's not your own damn fault you're a dumb shit and didn't realize your food would be hot.



4) A Web site that encourages girls as young as seven to give virtual dolls breast implants and put them on crash diets has caused concern among parents and children's activists.


-> A breast implant costs about 11,500 bimbo dollars, you start out with 1,000. Unless you pay with real money, it will take you at least about a good month to earn enough. Honestly, if you haven't noticed your child is playing a game undesirable to your tastes by now, then (sticking to the appropriate theme of your article) maybe there is something wrong with your parenting skills.


5) And bagging a billionaire boyfriend is the most desirable way to earn the all important "mula" or bimbo dollars. Working, it seems, is a bit of a chore in bimbo world.

-> It seems? Hardly. Your first goal is to get a job. You gradually move up, as you do puzzles and go to the library to increase your IQ. Your IQ raises, and you can change your job. You play Sudoku, word games, and solve puzzles to do this. They are generally easy....that is, unless you fail at life and have an IQ of 20. On the other hand, I'll give this journalist some creds. Bimbo creds. Working may seem a bit of a chore in the bimbo world if you're a dumb bitch.

In that case, your best bet will indeed be to bag a billionare boyfriend not only on the game, but also in real life.

I rest my case. Peace.

[For the full bullshit article, I kindly direct you to: http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/03/25/miss.bimbo/]

WTF? .edu E-mail

As I've discovered, many fellow college students have had their share of "Arrogant Teenage Intelligence E-mails." I received one on Christmas--probably arguably the best Xmas gift I've received in years, right?

Well, at first, it was quite unsettling. By unsettling, I mean to say that my reaction was a big "WTF." You can skip my jibber jabber down to the e-mail below, but I think it should not be too big of a deal. They are all addressed to .edu addresses--to students at reputable universities.

Viral marketing...but what are they advertising? No, not viagra this time. Nor is it Se-38xX-ua98L3ly4 EXp21iccit material. It's like someone created a bunch of bullshit e-mail characters at various providers, and threw darts at a ...GIGANTIC wheel of college e-mails. But, at the end of the day, who is more impressionable than a bunch of young, opinionated college students? Numerous cases of "iknoweverythingbecauseitookpolisci101 syndrome" plagues campuses. Fine demographic to start.

Another popular question is, how did they get my e-mail address? Well, how do Nigerian fraud spammers do it? I specifically would not know, as...well, naturally I am no criminal spammer myself, however! On the other hand, I am sure there are ways. Facebook? School? So many possibilities.

My suggestions to the poor, confused college soul...if you're interested in its contents, go do whatever research you want. I mean, you may find that it has some validity in it all? To the rest, delete. Go to a frat party. Go hang out in the lounge of your dorm. Go play WOW. Hell, start reading your insanely boring physics book for next quarter. Anything would be better than to fall victim to a radical group's ploy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:02:31 -0800
From: Jxxxxx Cxxxxx (random, generic and probably unimportant name has been x-ed out)

Subject: An inquiring evolutionist's call to action

Have you started hunting down someone who shares your mindset? If not,
there's no
need to read further because it shows that those who think just like you
are already around you.

You must aim to compel all people to adopt your way of thinking.
Or does it appeal to you more to advocate idiocy?

I was attempting to get married this year since there would have been tax
savings.
They said to me they wouldn't get married for the money.
They were lacking in interest in working together.

They revel in the idea of finding what you enjoy doing. They're being
dishonest with themselves.
A few per cent of today's employment level would be ample to live
luxuriously by historical standards.

People ask how I pay the bills since I work only from time to time.
I counter why they pay convincing deluders by paying to watch films.
Why do they crave after big vehicles and houses?
Is it not obvious that they delight in traveling only as long as
it's well-respected by the general populace?

They're convinced that people can't change. Yet when young, they dreamt
about
omniscience, perfect relationships, and perfect worlds. We are still
children in our thoughts.
We'll create an organization based on rational thought.

Don't respond to this message since we won't read it. Try a google search
on the
following words.

arrogant teenage expectation intelligence students
light philosophy strategy ideology logic
pure general design insecure naive
terrestrial solitary personality intolerant defiance
social spiritual celebration art traits
egregious indoctrination Borg monomania clandestine

For best results, search for 3 terms at a time. If you do the math,
that's
a daunting number of search possibilities, so only the single-minded will
persevere.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moving on then.

Yecchy

Today I begin a new blog. On the other hand, let me tell you a story. I left to go to class, meandering through my busy schedule at approximately 9;oo. Ah that's rather interesting, because I left a bag of garbage by the wall; though that sounds pretty disgusting and nasty, it is the normal way we roommies go about doing things. I intended to throw it out when I got home.

But no no. When I, for the first time, returned home at around 19;oo. Okay, what do I find??


...To be continued. S to the eriously.