Boyz and Gurlz Lawl

It would be nice if boyfriends were less orbital and girlfriends were less bitch-planet-like. There are a few reasons for this.

The average 18-25 year old boyfriend is mostly concerned with himself. He complains, because he wants to have more time to do what HE wants. He wants to go drinking with the guys, wants to check out all the girls, wants to have sex when he wants, wants to work when he wants, etc. Basically, the world revolves around him.

The average 18-25 year old girlfriend is mostly concerned with her boyfriend; this is not to say girls are all wonderful and dandy while guys all suck deep and wallow in each other's flames of evilness, because girls can be evil too. But, girls are more concerned about pleasing the guy she is with. If there are multiple guys, then, she will devote all her energy to the one who's hotter and the one who she likes better. Anyway, random surprises, cooking, being a motherly figure when mother isn't around, etc etc.

This causes problems. One day, boyfriend wants to go out with his friends to a strip club. Girlfriend, who is jealous and insecure, decides that life sucks because she remembers making him homemade vegetable soup when no one else cared he was sick. Boyfriend feels constrained, because being an 18-25 year old male, he is the sun, and everyonething else (the planets) is in orbit around him. He wants his freedom; it's not like he's going to go sleep with some community college drop out strippers. Flirting is okay.

Well, the above scenario only works if certain conditions are satisfied. One being that the girl really likes the guy. Second, the guy is a douchebag aka not a desperate nerd who can't find a girl or someone younger and/or a pansy.

Now, if the guy were the latter, then what would happen is, the girlfriend would initially be estatic. A wonderful, sensitive guy. As time draws on, and she is bombarded by his 5000000/day phone calls about his feelings, the light is switched off. He cries.

Gross.

In the end, the girls are plagued with this whole "Why do girls like douchebags?" question by their doe-eyed I'm-a-straight-go-to-guy-cuz-girls-think-I-might-as-well-be-gay friends. Well, what I've determined is that, girls don't like douchebags. Hate would even be a better word. On the other hand, to my understanding, most girls hate sensitive guys. They're too much like...girls. No girl wants to be with a guy more pansy than herself. If she's crying, she doesn't want a scrawny little boy to be crying with her...if we females wanted someone like that...we'd go for a butch les.

In the end, even though douchebags do suck an infinite amount, the pansies don't really do it for the ladies. Unless you're from the South maybe.....

\\Oops, margin of error. Back to the drawing board! Time to recalculate.